Would you mind defining exactly what you mean by that? Your work centers around instead being a conscious parent.

Something that I really liked right from the beginning was the solidarity. TSABARY: Be in charge of the environment in which the child lives instead of being in control of the child, per se. And we'll learn the difference between being in charge and being in control. We can make anything seem like disrespect. TAGLE: We'll help reframe what we view as disrespect. TSABARY: Watch how much you're focusing on sports and academics and athletics and belonging in groups. TAGLE: In this episode of LIFE KIT, 'The Parenting Map.' We'll talk to Tsabary about how our expectations for kids can often say more about the parent than the child. TSABARY: And that's what conscious parenting and that's what my book, 'The Parenting Map,' helps parents do - is realize what they're doing wrong because that's where we have the ultimate power. TAGLE: Too often, says Tsabary, parents get caught up in unnecessary power struggles with their children, where parents fight to be right instead of understanding why they want to be right in the first place. TSABARY: It's very difficult to be patient, regulated, present and aware. It's easier to be unconscious and to not even bother, really, because when you ad hoc discipline your children through blame, through shame, through punishment, that's easy to do. TSABARY: Trust me, conscious parenting is a lot of work. It requires parents to look inward and examine what emotional baggage or unset expectations might be influencing how they parent, then to use that knowledge to be less reactive with their kids. Rather than defaulting to parenting with rigidity and absolute authority - you know, that because-I-said-so mentality - conscious parenting is a practice of coming to the kids table with humility. Her new book, 'The Parenting Map,' is a step-by-step guide for creating conscious parent-child relationships. Shefali - is a psychologist and author with expertise in parenting, family dynamics and personal development. TAGLE: Shefali Tsabary - better known as Dr. And most of the time, it's only 10% what the child is doing and 90% what the parent is doing wrong. All the while, we never look at ourselves. We keep wanting the child to change and keep trying to micromanage the child. SHEFALI TSABARY: We keep expecting the child to change.

But have you ever thought about how parents - not kids - can sometimes make parenting even harder? Raising little humans is really difficult, no doubt about it. Parenting is often called the hardest job in the world for lots of reasons - the time, the energy, the immense responsibility, the never-ending worry, the expense, both financially and physically. I'm on my way to becoming a parent, and it's starting to dawn on me that parenting is tough. MARIELLE SEGARRA, BYLINE: You're listening to LIFE KIT.

Dr shefali the conscious parent